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  • Mand Paskuski

PIG : Picture it Gone

Dearest Reader,

I have been sitting on this little short film I made with friends for three years now and truly had no plans to ever release it. Why? You ask... Well... let me tell you...

Throughout my career in the entertainment industry I have experienced what I would call standard shaming. That is to say, if something is not up to a certain "standard" then it is shamed or belittled rather than critiqued fairly with a kinder eye. This isn't to say that I think that art in whatever form it is made shouldn't strive to meet a certain set of criteria - or put more plainly, I do think it's important to work for one's personal best in any scenario. That being said, my personal best last year is not my personal best this year and won't be the next either. As is the case with anyone who is in constant process and works towards sharpening their skillsets - you improve with time and practice. Maya Angelou said it best when she said "When you know better, you do better." It's applicable in all things, especially craft.

Looking back is sometimes hard to do. There are so many moments where you wonder what was going on in your head at the time...but I think it all connects somehow or at least I hope so. I needed to be where I was in my process then to truly appreciate where I am in it now. It's so different and it's been challenging for the good. I think about who I'm going to be in ten years, twenty, thirty years from now -- and I ask myself, "Well, who do you want to be in ten years?" And the answer shifts as people do with new enlightenments, but one thing remains constant and that is that I may not know exactly who I will become, but I know without a doubt, that I don't want to die having made an abundance of art with no one to share it with." Strange and horrible visions of busty filing cabinets and cat hair.

This was the first ever short film that I wrote and directed myself. When I wrote PIG I was in a place in my life where things were a touch murky. It was as if I had all these pretty puzzle pieces collected, but none of them fit without force. I was melancholy, yet ever the hopeless romantic and I sat in a coffee shop and poured some ink onto a page. Out came the story of a man sitting on a bus bench holding his father's ashes in a ziplock container. It's the single image I had, and there was no clear path where it was going, and then by the time I wrote The End, I'd realized that maybe I'd written something quite charming. I called my friend, talented actor Chad Toth, who plays Peter in the film and sent him the script to see if he'd be interested. He was and already knew exactly who should play Pig. The rest is history...

At the end there plays a song. It's a cover of "I Wish I Cared" by Aha. An ex of mine had shown me the song years ago and for whatever reason it's always been one that I loved. He was the one who told me I should cover it, but I never thought my vocals would be good enough to do it justice. For the record, I still think that...however, for some reason I plucked up the courage and recorded it anyway. Ian Prince, a wonderful friend and long time colleague of mine composed the music along with the rest of the soundtrack and I think it really works well in the film.

Luckily, I had the help of some wonderfully talented people to bring this short together, and so, though now maybe in the new place I'm in with life and art I would do things differently, I can be nothing but proud of the film we made. I release it today, perhaps a little tardy, and hope that you enjoy it, as it was a joy to make.

My most humble and strangest regards,

And Love,

Amanda Blush



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